A Totally Top Ten Tuesday!

So I have entered the world of memes, devices used by bloggers to party with each other on the internet (and we book bloggers know how to party HARD!) Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by the wondrous individuals at The Broke and the Bookish and participated in by so many wondrous book bloggers. This week's theme is allowed to be anything the writing blogger would desire it be, so henceforth I give you....

Top Ten Books That Should NEVER

Be (Or Have Been) Turned Into Movies

Some pheneomena in this world are not made for transformation. Sometimes one must leave something the way it is. Let us utilize these books in discovering why...

1. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Marquez.

The magic of this author's realism is the immensely encompassing quality of his description. You feel as if Macondo, the book's primary setting, can be both the North Pole and your own backyard, and the Garcia family (main characters) simultaneously your amiable neighbors and that impovershed family who trudges down your boulevard in rags. Movies give you both a definite setting in which what you see is what you believe. Characters are presented with definite looks that will make people have predetermined beliefs about them before the characters begin to execute defining actions. Therefore, the setting wouldn't have that magic and the characters that duplicity in an ultimately terrible film.

2. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger.

3. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

The voices of those narrators these two books boast are so distinct that the cinema cannot replicate them, which then renders the cinema unable to portray the stories in all of their greatness Voiced narratives within the films would just be deserving objects of ridicule.

4. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

Don't make a mean-spirited judgement of me because I am basing this novel's placement on a quality that occupies two pages: how Steinbeck describes the death of Lenny. He shows George being shaken by the murder and Slim referring to it as an action equivalent with washing one's face, but does not describe Lenny's body after George shoots that pistol. The movie audience would be unable to capture this wonderful specific on a count of their disturbance that stemms from a bloody dead man lying in the sand.

5. Travels With Charley in Search of America by John Steinbeck

6. Lord of the Flies by William Golding

7. Cannery Row by John Steinbeck

A book that requires much thought to not seem like a hopelessly meandering travelogue. Another that requires much thought to not seem completely strange and pointless to anyone over the age of twelve. Another that requires much thought to not seem completely strange and pointless to anyone. The certain audience who can ponder only does so when their overall comprehension is instrumental to comprehending the film's action sequences (think of Inception.)

8. For One More Day by Mitch Albom

9. Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom

Part of Albom's charm is the fact that he so seamlessly crosses the past with the present. However, the books he composes are puny in length and inconsistent in the "major story line" department. This would probably cause Hollywood to add "enticing" scenes forged by themselves, which (think of Harry breaking the Elder Wand in Deathly Hallows, Part Two) produces a movie downgraded by a lack of faith to its literary predecessor.

10. My Antonia by Willa Cather

Think this as sort of a culmination to all my reasons against pasting these timeless books onto the silver screen. Willa Cather's masterpiece is written more like an incomplete biography than a novel. The biography only becomes a novel if one has the patience to insert a significant amount of thought and patience into his reading experience. These two factors would probably cause Hollywood (I portray it as such a horrid character, don't I?) to add their "enticing" scenes that include "action", and I would much rather be forced to read Les Miserables in a day than sit through the ugly phenomenon that would be.

So what have we learned? For that friend of yours who you've had a robust intention to snog recently, be sure that it's a companion who you want to snog, not a friend. Take inventory of your change.